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The FIRST Thing to Do When You Struggle Balancing Home and School

Recently I asked a question on Facebook of you all: What is your biggest struggle in balancing home and school? The answers ranged from “everything” to finding quality time with spouse, meal planning, and keeping our home clean.

As homeschool parents, we have a lot on our plates trying to balance our homeschool time with the everyday happenings at home: meals, cleaning, shuttling kids, working, more feeding of the children, grocery shopping, marriage, and the many other commitments we have outside the home. It can seem like it never ends.

Overwhelm can sometimes be an understatement in how we are feeling. 

So – how do you do it all? Isn’t that a question that we all ask? We see all these amazing images and status updates on Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram from other moms with immaculate homes and (seemingly) idyllic families. Kids who are dressed and have combed hair (the struggle is real onthat one in our house), perfectly plated food, laundry that is folded…and then put away. Often we’re struggling to keep up with the bare minimum and just see the bottom of the kitchen sink and remember about thirty minutes before 6 that we have to figure out what’s for dinner.

Let’s face it – it is SO easy to get overwhelmed and feel like life is out of balance. Quickly!

I’d love to share my heart (and home) in a short series on balancing home and school in the upcoming bit on the blog (because I can use a refresher too!), but I need to put out a few disclosures.

  1. I don’t do it all
  2. My all is different than your all.
  3. Sometimes we desperately need to redefine ‘all’ to match what is reality – not expectation.

Maybe you are looking for a few tips on tightening things up. Maybe life feels completely out of whack. Regardless, in this series we’re going to talk about some ways we can approach different areas of our homes and lives and try to bring things back into a more organized state.

But today, there is one thing that I think is so very important to not only understand in our minds, but especially in our hearts. 

Know that you can’t do it all.

No matter what you think, there is no mom that is doing it all. Everyone has different priorities and things that make their families unique. There are days in our home when we are lucky to finish the basics of school and have three decent meals (because those kids keep asking for food. And the husband – he likes to eat too). Housework may be pushed to the side for a day or two…or more. Other times we may even be scraping the bottom of the fridge to find something edible. 

There definitely is something to be said for having an organization plan in place (a routine or schedule), but remember – life happens. You need to know what your top priorities are and what is most important to you.

Pinterest can be one of my biggest downfalls and if I’m being honest, Facebook too. It’s easy to see and read how everyone’s life around us is going along so amazing. Their kids are sleeping through the night after just 2 weeks, while yours are almost 10 months and can’t make it more than 3 hours (been there, friends). It’s easy to make life look “good” for others to see, but part of that transfers into a struggle when we begin comparing what friends or others have that we don’t. And then we begin the process of beating ourselves up for not having it look JUST like an image we see or an impression we got from something. 

Can I tell you something? There’s a lot that we miss in all those pictures and status updates. We are seeing what others are allowing us to see. A picture of a happy family taking a road trip together can be shared on Instagram, but I can guarantee they aren’t sharing a video or picture of the same kids that have already started fighting in the backseat over just fifteen minutes down the road. (I have zero experience with said issue. Zero.)

We don’t see the messes or the many hours that go into making something Pinterest-worthy. But our hearts take in what we are presented with and then latch onto our lack. 

And friends – that is SO not my heart for you. This is something I have struggled with tremendously over the years and it has eaten at me, stealing joy from the moments I should instead be savoring. 

If you are struggling…

While I may not know what area you feel you struggle most with, I do know there are many resources (and friends) available to help us each out along the way. Can I encourage you to pick one area in the upcoming week and spend 20 minutes a day focusing on that area? If you need accountability – ask a friend! (I will be!)

Here, the newness of spring has been inspiring to me to change up some things in our home and get back on track in multiple areas. I’m committing  20 minutes twice a day  – starting the day with time to prioritize and focus and then making a “clean sweep” of the house each evening so we have a fresh start the following morning (clean counters and a tidy living area).

What area will you focus on this week – and remember: focus on the unique priorities YOUR family has. Don’t worry about what others are doing. Do what is best for you and yours! 

 

Do You Struggle with Anger?

Does the above resonate with you? (It does me. A lot.)

In the past I’ve mentioned that anger is one of the things I struggle with most in parenting. Somehow, the kiddos in this house can push every single one of my buttons in the first fifteen minutes of the day. 

For real. 

From the many emails I received from you all after I wrote that initial post, I know I’m not alone in this struggle. And friends, the struggle is daily. It isn’t something that I read a book on and it was gone overnight. It’s a daily walk and one that I need to constantly pray about. Constantly.

Parenting is a journey that forces us not to be selfish and roots out all those areas that selfishness rests. And no matter how often we think there MUST have been a mistake in God giving us the children in our home (especially the ones that push our buttons), God knows exactly what we need and each and every one of our children are gifts from Him. Added to that, my anger – my temper, well it’s not something that I can just overlook. There is something that can be done, because anger is something that can be worked on and tempered – it isn’t a lifelong sentence unless I allow it to have a grip on me. 

But sometimes it seems like that, doesn’t it. The hardest part is often admitting that the change needs to come from me. No matter what circumstances are going on around me, I still have a choice in how I react to all that surrounds and happens around. I can CHOOSE to respond different. To not blow up. To count to 10. Or 100. Or just step away from the situation.

The Temper Toolkit

Over the last few months I’ve been watching (and rewatching) videos from the Temper Toolkit course by Lisa Jo Baker. You all – it is so very full of encouragement, helps, and reminders on who God has created each of us to be. Here are just a few: 

  • You are not a bad mom just because you have a bad day. 
  • My kids were each given to me on purpose (no mistakes!).
  • Taking a break is important – and needed – in my role as a mom. 
  • It’s okay to ask for help – and admit I am wrong. 

The course features 7 videos (under 15 minutes each), transcripts of each video session, audio downloads of each session, phone lock screens and printables, and 5 additional bonus sessions to further encourage and help you in your journey. 

I purchased the Temper Toolkit a few months ago because I just needed the little reminders (and Lisa Jo also made some beautiful screen savers and printable reminders to go along with each of the lessons). I don’t know about you, but I’m a visual person, so seeing prompts and verses really helps me out. And often I need to hear and see those reminders again and again. 

Over the next two days, the Temper Toolkit is available as part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle. The class is currently closed for registration and open ONLY to those who purchase this bundle option through October 24th

The Temper Toolkit course is currently waitlisted/closed – and as soon as it becomes available again, I will let you all know. If you have been a reader of Homeschool Creations for any amount of time, hopefully you know well by now that my heart is to help encourage and provide tools for other moms in their homeschool and parenting journey (and yes, you dads too!). 

Discouragement can run rampant and it’s easy to feel like a failure. Quickly. Whether it be in the area of housework, budgeting, organization, or just taking care of ourselves. Homeschooling is one of the many hats we wear!

And mommas – if there is something I can pray for you with today – or tomorrow – or the next day, would you please leave a comment or feel free to email me? I would be honored to pray with you. Sometimes admitting we struggle is the hardest and first step – and I’m hear to support you if I can. 

When the Doubts Creep In (and I Feel Like I’ve Ruined My Kids)

This past week we spent a whole lot of time doing nothing. A little bit of cleaning and organizing here and there, but otherwise it was rest and refocusing on what is coming in the last six weeks of school.

At one point a friend texted me something that hit a wee bit of a rawness in me, because it echoed many of the doubts that have been circling my mind the last few weeks. 

Do you ever feel like you’ve ruined your kids? Having one of those vulnerable moments.  Sometimes I feel like I haven’t involved them in enough.  And I tell myself it’s not too late and that they’re pretty solid kids.  But yeah, sometimes those doubts.

My answer. Yes. I do. Even during the last week of rest there were moments when the doubt crept in. Should I be doing more? Less? We could be doing more. Maybe we should get them involved in _____. Perhaps we need to step up our work in another area. The list goes on and on. 

Yes, there will likely be gaps and things I miss, but honestly, that’s ok. I can’t be everything and the end all. I’m NOT everything and the end all.  I still need to do my best, but I can’t worry about every little detail or I will drive myself crazy. We take things one day at a time and as opportunities arise. Sometimes they are a great fit for where we are in life, and other times they need to be put aside in that moment. 

Many of the books I’ve been reading lately (and there is good reason for it), have focused on scaling back. Focusing on what is important and knowing what we want in our home and family. All timely reminders for me (and maybe you too). 

It’s so easy for me to get caught up in the cycle of having everything “perfect” on paper – lesson plans, making sure we are doing all the right stuff academically. We’re trying to involve them in some sports. It’s hard not to compare and see what other families are doing or involved in. But we’ve also made the decision as a family to try to simplify in some areas and not overextend ourselves. 

 

While reading The Magnolia Story this past week, one section really stuck out to me. In trying to create perfection in her home, Joanna Gaines realized something: 

…my determination to make things perfect meant I was chasing an empty obsession all day long. Nothing was ever going to be perfect the way I had envisioned it in the past. Did I want to keep spending my energy on that effort, or did I want to step out of that obsession and to enjoy my kids, maybe allowing myself to get messy right along with them in the process? I chose the latter — and that made all the difference…It all came down to a mind shift in which I asked myself, ‘What am I going for in life?’ Was it to achieve somebody else’s idea of what a perfect home should look like? Or was it to live fully in the perfection of the home and family I have?”  

As we finish up the rest of our school year, the one thing I want to ensure I’m doing is putting my energy into enjoying what we are doing — wholeheartedly — and FULLY enjoying the family and homeschool that we have been blessed with. While my family and school may not line up with what others are doing, that’s okay. We will finish well and in those moments of feeling vulnerable, I will focus on the task in front of me and remember to trust God in all that I am doing. Including my kids’ education.

Creating Lasting Friendships – #NeverUnfriended


This last week I’ve been reading through Never Unfriended by Lisa Jo Baker and am truly in love with it. It’s one that has been traveling around the house and errands with me so I can grab and read during spare moments.

Friendship can be a huge risk – putting yourself out there, being honest and raw at times, and truthfully, it can also be one area that causes pain (trust me, I know). But friendships can also be a source of huge encouragement, joy, and laughter. Those moments are ones we cherish and cling to during tough times and those friends are with us in our toughest times.

Beyond face-to-face friendships, it’s easy for things to feel (or appear) out of whack with the many different venues of social media at our fingertips. We feel slighted when someone doesn’t respond quickly or ‘like’ something. Feelings get hurt. Friendships become fragile. 

As a mom who stays home and is surrounded by kids all day, there are times when I know I do not do enough to grow my friendships, but I also sabotage relationships as well by all the second-guessing, comparison, and plain old craziness. 

I (heart) this quote from the book because it truly sums up my feelings: 

I want to be the kind of woman who makes other women feel welcome. Where they feel seen, valued, and safe. That means that whether or not we have close friends is entirely in our own hands. We simply have to be willing to start.  – p. 84,  Never Unfriended

My heart here is to encourage you all not only in your homeschool walk, but also as you live life everyday. Having the support and care of close friends is so important – and I truly feel this book is one of those “keep on your shelf” for a long time to come. 

 

Special Pre-Order Offers!

Lisa Jo is offering some beautiful pre-order gifts to anyone who orders the book, either through her website or through Amazon and would like to start reading now. Here’s a little peek at what is in the gift box: 

  • A beautiful, distressed clipboard with 37 art prints PLUS 12 exclusive Never Unfriended quotes from the book (ships to US addresses only)
  • Digital printable of the 12 exclusive Never Unfriended quote cards
  • The Never Unfriended Promise – Digital Download
  • First half of the book (digital download)

Don’t wait for release date. Start reading right now!

If you’ve already pre-ordered (WOOT!!!), you can claim your freebies HERE. Just scroll down and click on the “Redeem Pre-order” form to claim them and you can enter in your information! 

 

Note: I was sent an advanced copy of this book to read, but have already purchased a copy for a friend. Because I absolutely love it. And I may have wanted the freebies as well. :) 

Some Days You Just Need a Snow Day


When the local school system decides to take a day off, one of the bonuses to homeschooling is we can keep going (and finish our year up early). But some days – some days it’s nice to jump in with both feet (boots on) and roll with the weather. 

Our area hasn’t had a lot of snow this year. Flurries at best and overall it’s been rather disappointing. With the threat of a (potentially) lovely storm coming our way, I decided to be preemptive and say “yes” to a snow day – and we called it before in the local school systems did (grins). Two friends were invited to share in the fun, spend the night, and take full advantage of any snow to come our way. 

Zero school. Just fun and playing in the snow and enjoying our time with friends – IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK, no less. Rebels that we are. For me, it was definitely a moment to stretch myself. Because typically I would be trying to squeeze in a few of our subjects and get it all done. My challenge to myself was to stop and just embrace the day for what it was – a snow day and rest. 

Were there things we could have worked on today? Absolutely. Will we find a way to work it all into the rest of our year? Definitely. Is this a day the kids will remember – building silly snowmen with their friends, drinking hot chocolate after playing outside and getting soaked, goofy pictures, and making snow cream. 

Sometimes, despite the schoolwork and stuff that needs to be done, you just need to say “yes.” The day of rest (and fun) to enjoy what is right in front of you might be needed as much as anything else.

Schoolwork will be there tomorrow, but the opportunity may be gone – all too soon. 

Our Homeschool (and Life) Happenings via Vlog

The last few vlogs have been a lot of fun to share with you all. :) While I recently shared our middle of the year updates for all of the kids (see links below), here is a peek into the last six weeks or so of life. Feed readers can click here to see the video. 

Here’s the sum-up: 

  • We are on a six week on, one week off schedule – which means a break for us next week. (Happy dance here!!)
  • The weather has been crazy back and forth. Part of me wishes we would go ahead and get a good snow already, but then the warm weather comes and I wonder what I’m thinking. Either way, I wish it would make up it’s mind, because snow one day and 70 degrees the next is CRAZY!
  • Swim team is officially done, so no more back and forth nights with practice. I am much relieved. 
  • We had a new baby join the family (nephew) in January and my mom’s hip surgery went well (eventually). The first few days were really rough, but she is doing much better now – thanks so much for your prayers!
  • The days our oldest is struggling health-wise make me ever-so-grateful we homeschool (much more about this in the video). 
  • Hardest part for me the last 6 weeks has been dealing with diet restrictions and a complete revamping of the ‘familiar’ tried and true recipes/menus we had in place. I’m a creature of habit, so having to re-think everything has been quite a bit of a challenge. I’m also an all or nothing girl, and baby steps have been h.a.r.d. for me to take. Just sayin’. 
  • Incidentally, THIS BOOK is fabulous. Cannot say it enough. 
  • And a dog. A cute dog is sometimes what I need to see and snuggle with. And yes, she needs a haircut. You all were cracking me up on Facebook thinking I posted a picture of a skunk. 😂

That’s about it for us – how are YOU all doing. 

 

A few links for you: