20 Best Tips

The Mind Battle of Being Present

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One of the things that I’ve been trying to focus on during the month of December is being present. Not distracted by whatever it is that seems to be the most pressing need of the moment. Instead I want to slow it down. Focus on our family and really enjoy each moment we have together, especially in a season that tends to fill up quickly with parties, places to go, and things to do.

For me it can be such a huge mind battle. I see my running list of “to-do’s”, the many unfinished things that are towering over me, the never-ending pile of stuff, and often it makes me forget to savor the little moments.

baking with kids

In years past, a lot of time has been spent baking, but typically I’m the one who does most of it because (let’s face it), there’s less of a mess, it gets done more quickly (and the correct way the first time), and sometimes that’s just the way my brain puts it all together.

But do you know what ends up not happening in the process? Memories aren’t made. Years from now I don’t want to look back at all the missed opportunities and think, “Well, at least my kitchen was clean!”

So – this month there has been (an attempt at) a mental shift to slow down and enjoy the moments. Because I NEED THAT. My kids need that. That’s what this is really all about in the long run – not how much I manage to check off my list in a day (and who I manage to push aside in the process).

baking with Kaleb

Tonight I thought that I’d have a free night (as in a chance to tackle a few of those projects), and instead there was a certain 9 year old boy stuck to my side while his siblings were at swim practice. Part of me was tempted to plop him down, put Netflix on, and be done with it.

making ninja gingerbread men

Instead, the two of us made some fun memories while baking Ninja gingerbread cookies (aff link). There was mixing, rolling, decorating, tickling, laughing, and cookie eating. The two of us had some wonderful conversations (over Ninja cookies) and I even had a clean-up helper. Was the evening what I had envisioned earlier in the day? Not at all. It was even better.

being silly with our kids

This week is our last week of school for the year, giving us a chance to rest and do more together. Likely that will involve more baking (we have some ugly Christmas sweater cookies we need to make for sure!), playing games, read (or listen to audiobooks), having a few friends over, and just enjoy the time we have together.

How are YOU planning to be present with your family in the upcoming weeks? I know that I’m not alone in my struggle to shift my focus and would love to hear how you all are making memories together as a family!

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Comments

  1. Gabriel M. Smithson says

    My wife & I use to think the same way about having the kids in the kitchen, and helping with the making of not only Christmas cookies, and other holiday goodies. But, we learned a few years back about what joy it brings to our children when they are in the kitchen not only during Christmas time, but year round. They are taught how to cook pretty much anything & everything, and they love it. It has brought my wife & I much joy seeing the happiness & joy that our kids have when they are in the kitchen, and being a part of everything, and not thinking of them as being a hindrence.

    • You are so right, Gabriel. :) My oldest is starting to cook different breakfast dishes on Tuesday morning for us and it has been so much fun and such a learning experience for her. I didn’t have a lot of time in the kitchen growing up and it has been great watching her learn as she goes (sometimes the hard way) and try new things.

  2. Padma Krishnan says

    my 11 year old girl and her best friend get together every Sunday afternoon and bake something together. They are both hungry all the time anyway and need something to do. They set up a tea party for me in the evening on Sundays with some cake and tea… it is so nice. but I noticed their interaction, they don’t control each other while baking. it is so cooperative. I just search for a recipe and print it out and provide the ingredients. They do most of the clean up and I have to re-do again of course. When I join in this, I noticed that I control everything, I tend to raise my voice and it becomes shrill… I start teaching about accuracy etc… I am learning to let go and enjoy. I realized I would not behave that way with a peer, then why am I doing it with my kids? Also I have this constant nagging feeling that I could be relaxing doing something else?? I need to understand that this , this is the relaxation that I want..really.

    Anyhow, we have a tradition of baking some very simple cookies and giving to the mail woman, garbage truck man and crossing guard/ pool guard etc. I am hoping to make it a fun and less stressful experience .

    • I agree, Padma! One of the things we’ve really been talking about is how we treat others vs. our family (as in you wouldn’t speak to your friend that way, so why do you speak to a sibling that way – and the same goes for me). :)

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