Just when I think that I’ve managed to get into a good routine with our school year, we start a new year and there are all sorts of fun, new things to throw into the mix. While our oldest {7th grade} is working a bit more independently in her schoolwork, an added benefit to me {oh, that is SO tongue in cheek} is keeping up with all of the paperwork and correcting. The older the kids get, the paperwork seems to grow exponentially in some areas.

I so love paperwork. {Please, note the sarcasm.}

This school year has managed to absorb even more of my overall time {more planning, grading, reviewing…}, but it’s all a good thing. Really, truly. There are days that I feel a little bit overwhelmed. Sometimes a few more than I would care to admit.

Slowing Down and Focusing

One thing that I’ve started to do with the girls this year is have a weekly tea time. They each have their own special time with me – one on Wednesday and one on Thursday. The main intent was to review schoolwork, talk about assignments, and make sure we were on the same page with things, but it has really been such an added blessing to our week.

While we do get all the paperwork covered, it has been a time where we can chat, share things that have come up during the course of the week, and just enjoy being together. Essentially, it’s a time to be intentionally focused 1:1 on the child in front of me and connect with the heart inside.

One thing I’m learning through all of it is to just slow down. It’s a season where I am having to put a few things aside in order to focus on what is important and needs my immediate attention.

And that’s a good thing.

But don’t think those little boys running around the house want nothing to do with mom. Now they are wondering when their tea hot chocolate days are going to start.

I really wouldn’t have it any other way.

Do you have focused 1:1 time with your kids? How do you carve special time to share with your children?

A few weeks ago I came across a post from Michael Hyatt called “A Tale of Two Coaches” that really applies to each of us as teachers and parents. While the topic isn’t anything earth-shattering, it was something that stuck with me {the window to the post has been open in my browser since I read it}.  It’s given me a lot to mull about over the last bit and consider in my approach to my children – and others for that matter.

Hyatt tells of how his golf game was effected by two different friends that he played with. One was always an encouragement – his gentle, reassuring voice gave Hyatt the opportunity to play his best games, instilling confidence in him and his game.

The other friend was an excellent golfer {even better than the first}, but rather than gentle encouragement, his mannerisms and actions belittled Michael, causing him to play at his worst.

Your Encouragement Matters

There are days when it can be so hard to find an encouraging word in the midst of the craziness. Days when biting words are on the tip of your tongue in response to bad attitudes and frustration.

But our words matter to our kids.

We can gently encourage our children in an area they are struggling with or spew words that will cut and damage little hearts and stick with our children in the days to follow.

While my goal is obviously to be an encouragement to our children in all I say and do, the reality is – well, reality. It doesn’t always come across that way and things come out of my mouth with a sharp intent. Words that I wish I could take back, but I can only offer an apology. Once our words are out – they aren’t easily forgotten.

Rather than focusing on what our kids are doing wrong, we can focus and encourage what they are doing right. {Believe me, I know this can be hard sometimes}.

Have you ever noticed a difference in your child’s demeanor when you encourage rather than focusing on the wrong? Shoulders lift. Faces smile. Hearts are softened.

When grace and encouragement are given, it can make a world of difference. This obviously isn’t a new concept – but it has been something that I have been reminded of lately and thought someone else might need to hear it as well.

Do you struggle with this area and holding your tongue at times? What ways have you found to specifically encourage your kids – even when it’s tough to do so?